It is OK to let children know when you disapprove of their behaviour. Approval and disapproval are compelling tools for shaping children’s behaviour.
Children must understand, however, that it is the behaviour – not them – that you don’t like.
There is a big difference. Rather than saying: I don’t like you because you tease Tom. You make me very cross; you are a mean boy.
It is better to say: I don’t like it when you tease Tom because he gets very upset and that means I will have to spend time with him and your dinner will be late.
Rather than saying: I don’t like you. You are a mean boy to pull the cat’s tail.
It is better to say: I get cross when you pull the cat’s tail. It is a mean thing to do because it hurts the cat.
Make co-operation fun Children are more likely to co-operate and behave well if it is fun to do so. Help children start and finish things Let’s see how much of this you can do before I get back. Use singing, rhymes and rhythm Use tunes you know or make up your own. • We’re putting...
Help children feel good Every child needs to develop their own internal control or self-discipline. This is more likely to happen when the adults around them model helpful, respectful and non-violent behaviour and when children feel approved of, loved and valued. These children will feel good about themselves and are likely to behave acceptably. Saving...